Why They're Hot

Why She’s Hot:This, ladies and gentlemen, is Naya Rivera....

aloe-sarah — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:47:48 -0400

Why She’s Hot:

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Naya Rivera. Try to keep your pants on now, she is ridiculously fucking hot. She’s got that smug, sexy look that just makes you want to love her down. Plus, she plays a lesbian cheerleader on TV. Hellooo, kinky fantasies.
I mean, be honest, have you ever seen a girl with a more perfect body? She is just downright sexy. Just looking at her makes you want to put your tongue all up on that, am I right? And you will always be constantly torn by the fact that she can totally rock sexy lingerie, and the fact that you never want that body to have anything on it (except you).
She’s fucking adorable, and she’s always down to cuddle (oh hell yeah). Not to mention the fact that she has a winning sense of humor and she laughs that dreamy little laugh all the damn time.
Oh shit, that voice. It’s like not quite husky, but just the right amount of raspy that makes you want to make her moan like there’s no tomorrow. Oh yeah, plus she can sing. P.S: that video will make you either wet or hard, just a warning.
This bitch is just flawless. Just browsing through her Maxim photoshoo t is enough to make you whimper. Or cum. Or both.

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Why He’s Hot: Mike Kenji Shinoda. He’s a musician. This sexy-ass...

princesspancakehead — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 12:36:46 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

Mike Kenji Shinoda. He’s a musician. This sexy-ass man is creative and intelligent. He pretty much formed the world-famous rock band Linkin Park. So he’s rich, famous, and has fangirls swooning over him all around the world.
He raps AND sings. Damn, this boy. He writes the best lyrics, and with his rapping, that means he’s fast with his tongue. You know what that means, ladies. That voice is also enough to make you wet your little panties by the second verse.
He plays multiple instruments. Not only does he have a great voice, but he can also play guitar, keyboards and make samples. This gorgeous man proves to be good with his fingers.
That smile. I cannot even begin explaining to you that smile. It will make you weak at your knees, and you will be dreaming about that smile for weeks and weeks. It’s absolutely perfect.
He is half-Japanese and proud of his heritage. One look from those half-Asian eyes and you will be crawling on your knees in front of him begging you to take him. Imagine him speaking to you in Japanese in bed. Unf.

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Why He’s Hot: Who’s that hot guy standing there looking...

soulsister101 — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 11:36:54 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Who’s that hot guy standing there looking like a badass mother fucker? Why that’s Matt Berry. Don’t know who he is? Well you better learn his name because you’ll be putting it down as the father of your children on a birth certificate shortly. He’s an actor, comedian and musician who has more sexy swagger in his little finger than your boyfriend has in his entire body. Did I mention that he plays the rogue-ish boss on The IT Crowd? In a crisp handmade suit and with that hair falling over one eye, you’ll be begging to take dictation from him as his secretary.
Oh did I mention he’s English. Yup, that means sexy accent. But wait, on top of an accent that can already make you spread your legs, Matt also has a rich velvety voice like smooth caramel. It’s a voice so sugary sexy that he could read the mother fucking phone book and make it sound like the dirtiest porn so sensuous; your panties will instantly disappear. His voice is so celebrated for its booming, instantly recognizable baritone, that he is the voice of an entire UK radio station where he has a podcast. Have you ever wanted to slip two fingers down the front of your trousers after watching a candy commercial? Well you will after listening to Matt Berry.
Hmm and the hair, good God the hair! No mention of Matt Berry can pass without mention of his glorious mane of hair. His hair inspires women to risk life and limb and possible jail time for stalking in order to ruffle his silky tresses. It’s so rich and lustrous he’s like a walking Pantene commercial. Oh you’ll be dreaming about burying your hands in those lush locks while he licks his way to the center of your own Tootsie Roll pop!
Oh and as if he didn’t have enough swagger, he’s a self-taught multi-instrumentalist singer and songwriter with four albums. He even has a new album, Witchazel. So not only can he use that voice to separate you from your clothes and any sense of morals your mama may have taught you, but he can write you a love song and sing it to you while he’s working your body like a finely tuned instrument.
Speaking of working your body, Mr. Berry has some knowledge of this too if the gyrating from this aerobics video with Matt is any indication. Keep an eye on those short shorts too. What’s beneath them don’t disappoint either. Now when’s the last time a man made you want to take up a private aerobics class with him? Don’t you wish you could study aerobics under Matt too? I know I do!

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Why He’s Hot: Witness, the most perfect human. He is...

thisisaislynn-deactivated201106 — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:31:22 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Witness, the most perfect human. He is beyond sweet and incredibly intelligent, not to mention wildly sexual. Chris Marqette interviews like a scientist from NASA and spends his extra money on children in need. His mind alone is something to brag about, everything else is just a massive bonus.
He’s a geek among geeks, the nerd of all nerds. Yet this Star Wars digging dude doesn’t sit in his mother’s basement playing WOW, he lands hot chicks and knows his Lucas too. Don’t hide your inner geek when you’re around him, this is a man who can be your Han to his Leia.
His talent is not to be taken lightly. Chris can play the most endearing and broken character, or the most perverted and hilarious person in existence (any guy who can make slapping Ryan Reynolds in the face a laughable occurrence has some serious comic genius in his blood). You know what that means ladies? Roleplay.
He may not have abs of steel, but who doesn’t love a punk dressed in his own blood or a nerd stripping it down for an audience. His pale fit figure makes one swoon with delight. Yes please, Mr. Marquette, strip for me.
When he smiles the world stops. Babies and kittens drop dead of cuteness overload. He can go from sweet to sexy in two seconds flat, and make you fantasize about jumping his bones and licking that hot grin straight off his adorable face in no time.

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I hope you guys haven't forgotten that this is first and foremost a humor blog.

blissed — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:28:00 -0500

I mean really, if Chad Kroger sets your undies alight in a positive way, I would be screaming at you...

Why He’s Hot: Chad mother-fucking Kroeger. Lead singer of...

kittenbreakfast-deactivated2011 — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:16:00 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Chad mother-fucking Kroeger. Lead singer of hit band Nickelback, which is Canadian. Say his name. Chad Kroeger. If that’s not enough to make your vagina explode with feelings of lust and ramen cravings then I don’t know what is.
His hair. It may look like your every-day ramen perm, but there’s so much more under those sexy golden locks. Imagine feeling his beautiful curls as you passionately kiss him on the cheek.
His body. Look at those abs. Look at those sexy pecs. Look at that rock sign he’s making with his fingers. Imagine what else he can do with those fingers… like run them through your hair. Or his hair. Or even your bowl of ramen noodles.
He’s FAMOUS! Fuck yeah, famous. He’s a rockstar. People get tattoos of him, imagine bragging to your co-workers about sleeping with that hott piece of famous meat.
His songs. He sings beautiful songs with that sexy voice of his, he could sing you to sleep. Check out this song, that’s mother fucking deep. He even exposes his wild side once in a while with songs about sex and cars and stuff. If that can’t turn you on I don’t know what can.

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Why He’s Hot: How are you even reading this? How have you...

broodingelf — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 19:33:44 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

How are you even reading this? How have you looked at that picture and not fallen to the floor from pure unf? Yeah, that’s right. That’s Jay Baruchel. The sexy Canadian god with beautiful, luscious hair.
He’s adorable. LOOK AT THAT FACE. He snorts when he laughs, he’s awkward, skinny, and a complete nerd but can turn into pure sex when he wants too. If that doesn’t make the perfect man, I don’t know what does.
He’s patriotic. He’s so fucking patriotic, in fact, that he’s got his country’s flag tattooed on his beautiful chest. Nothing sexier than a man who loves his country.
Not into movies? That’s okay he loves music too. Yeah, that’s right, not only can he act but he can play the drums and make beats on Logic. Don’t believe me? Hear the words come straight from his sweet-ass mouth.
Lastly, his voice. Yeah, I see you melt at the sound. Imagine that voice screaming your name in bed. He makes the computer generated viking bamf Hiccup sound as sexy as hell. You can now put your underwear back on.

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Why He’s Hot: Please take a moment to catch your breath...

lauradales — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 17:14:29 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Please take a moment to catch your breath and tighten those legs if you must. That glorious man above would be Andrew Garfield. If you didn’t already know, he’s an American British actor that can charm the pants off of you in less than a second with simply a smile. Yes, just one quick glimpse of those beautiful teeth and instantly you won’t remember what name you go by - only what he wishes to call you.
And it’s not just the smile: the man has plenty of other lovely features. Have you noticed that head of hair, or those deliciously brooding eyebrows? Yes, he may be slightly self conscious of his eyebrows or even possibly his luscious locks but he shouldn’t be. We love the way he grooms himself.
As if it isn’t already good enough just to see him walk and talk, his acting is fucking fantastic. He’s incredibly convincing, making you cry, pissed and everything in between. This means he can convince you to sleep with him and stay the night without even trying because you’ll believe anything that is uttered from those perfect lips.
Jewnicorn love is in full effect and none of us are hating it. Everyone knows Andrew and Jesse Eisenberg are in the brilliant film The Social Network together, and although their characters cut all possible ties in the movie, it’s would be the exact opposite in real life. The two are practically in love and doing the worst possible job of hiding it, but that’s completely OK with us.
It should be obvious by now that Andrew is capable of making any person swoon, being tall, dark and so fucking handsome. His accent can cause knees to go weak and his voice could probably cure cancer, not to mention how frequently he licks those damn fine lips. Oh, and did I mention those looks? He’s got so many. There’s his “smoldering sexually frustrated“ look; his “I am adorable“ look; and also his “I get what I want and I want you“ face. This man is so damn perfect.

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Why He’s Hot: That gorgeous boy up there is Eli...

electricraspberry — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 19:34:09 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

That gorgeous boy up there is Eli Goldsworthy, and if you watch Degrassi you periodically orgasm every time the camera pans over to his angsty, alternative, hotness.
He’s just about the cutest thing you’ve ever layed your eyes on. His smirk will send your knees into a quiver. It’s as if his lips are saying “you want me” without uttering a word. His lips would be correct, you want him, you want him SO, SO bad.
He’s a trouble maker. This boy doesn’t play by the rules. Whether it be spiking punch with poison, getting suspended, or getting into a brawl. He’s pure badass. It doesn’t bother you any, he looks so dang sexy with blood running down those pouty lips. You can lick it off. In fact, he’d probably encourage it.
He drives a hearse. That’s right, he drives a car that totes bodies. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind laying your bod in the back…on your back…with Eli pressed against you.
His style is unique. Imagine walking into the hall at school and seeing this stride towards you. All black, a blazer, headphones, and that perfectly side swept hair. You’d love to run your fingers through it. Maybe pull it a bit. Maybe a lot.

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Why He’s Hot: This long, lean son of a bitch is Nathan,...

blissed — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 16:42:00 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

This long, lean son of a bitch is Nathan, the “leader” of the Misfits. I mean he’s not really the leader, he’s more like the annoying pretentious ridiculous guy that demands all the attention in the group so he usually gets it. Or as Curtis would call him, the “prick”. But it just works.
Look at that head full of wild poofy curls! Imagine twisting your fingers up in that shit while he goes to town on your vaginal regions. And those pretty green eyes? Yes, you want to get lost in those things, it’s OK. I do too.
He DGAF. He will shit in your bed, call you a cunt or a midget or a melon fucker, punch you in the nose, throw a brick at your car - whatever he fucking wants - and you’ll love every second of it because it just makes him who he is, and who he is is ~amazing and glorious and beautiful~.
The beautiful bastard is immortal. He can’t die. I mean, he can but he always comes back. He’ll be with you forever and ever, amen. And who wouldn’t want that?
Did I mention that he’s Irish? No? Well, yeah. That accent. Definitely enough said.

Why He’s Hot: Don’t know who this hot bitch is? Well,...

blissed — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 20:26:30 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Don’t know who this hot bitch is? Well, consider your life now completed. Let me introduce you to the sexilicious Tahar Rahim, star of one of the best films in the last decade, 2009’s A Prophet.
Just take a second, breathe calmly, and set your eyes on that picture. Just look at it. How can anyone resist a man in a suit – smoking? Yeah, yeah smoking is bad for you, but not one single person I know thinks that a hot guy taking a puff on one of those things isn’t sexy. Sure you could stare at that picture all day if you haven’t already fainted from his sexy exterior, but for all you ladies out there that don’t want their man just to be grooming their tousled locks every time you speak to them, Tahar is intelligent. He can speak a million fucking languages AND he is French. That’s right, he is French. And, we all know what they say about the French…
Okay, don’t worry, I am now about to bombard you with extremely pant-dropping-worthy pictures now, but let’s look past his beautifully crafted face and sweet, sweet French accent for the smallest second and get to his personality. Because, let me tell you, you can’t get anymore sweeter than this guy. He is so unbelievably shy it’s adorable. In every interview you’ll ever see him in will prove my point. The moment he speaks, you just wanna grab him and caress his sweet body to your own and never let go. You want loyalty? You got it. You know he is going to have eyes on you and only you, no messing around with any other girls – he is a keeper. He is the kind of man you’d happily let your mother (and even father) meet, but make sure you keep your mama a fair distance away from this man ‘cos she’d gladly ditch your daddy for Tahar’s fine ass.
This man can act. He was nominated for a fucking BAFTA in his first film role, yes a fucking BAFTA (which was stolen by a certain someone.) and he won two fucking César awards (practically the French Oscars) for his role in A Prophet. He IS the next Robert De Niro of this generation. No joke. And we all know what a hot ass De Niro was in Taxi Driver.
Tahar may have played a bad ass king pin in A Prophet but the only crime he’ll ever commit will be not letting us see his sexy self grace our screens. Luckily for us, his next starring role is in Chinese Director Lou Ye’s film, Bitch. If you’re aware of Ye’s work, you know he likes to get his actors down and dirty. So expect some hot sex. That’s right - Hot. Sex. Too bad we have to wait ‘til next year to see that. At least Tahar entertains us with some stripping down in A Prophet. Wait; there is a lot of stripping down. Thank god for the many, many prison shower scenes and guard searches.

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Why He’s Hot: See this perfect specimen of a guy right...

fireseup — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 18:36:06 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

See this perfect specimen of a guy right here? Before you start calling him a girl and disagreeing with me, look again. This is the multitalented Yang Yoseob; lead vocalist of hottie Korean boygroup BEAST (B2ST). He may only be 20, but being serenaded by a voice like this is enough to make you cum right on the spot. On top of that voice, he can dance. From thrusting to popping, this boy can move, and he can also beatbox and rap. Yoseob has good english, good enough to make you jizz. …Did I already mention he’s multitalented?
Yoseob can go from sexy to adorkable in seconds.. and pull both off quite well. He’ll have you laughy at his cheesy antics before turning you on with his sexiness within a matter of seconds.
On to his body. Korean idols tend to take great care of their bodies, and Yoseob is no exception. He’s got thick arms, abs, pecs, a sexy back and shoulders, thick thighs, and so much more. Oh, his hands, they’re gigantic, which of course means he’s got junk. His eyes, button nose, big ears, and perfect smile also add on to this boy’s charm.
Last but not least, his personality. Yoseob loves kids, and is pretty good with them too, which means he’ll be an amazing dad. He’s caring, funny, romantic, dorky, devoted and sexy all wrapped up in one small, but decked out package.
He truly loves his fans as much as we love him. He works himself even while he’s extremely sick so that every performance was as good as the last to make us happy. Don’t you wish you could have a guy this dedicated?

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Why He’s Hot: Marcus Mumford. Go ahead. Say it out loud....

whatabbeysaid — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:14:06 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Marcus Mumford. Go ahead. Say it out loud. Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? I guarantee, after this short little post, this man will make your loins ache for just one night with him. Why? He’s British. Just listen to his smooth, sultry voice. You hungry yet? Control yourselves. We’ve only just begun.
Those eyes. Tantalizing.
He’s not afraid to get silly. And quite frankly, I’m sure we’d all like to get a little silly with him…between the sheets.
His voice. Gorgeous. Not convinced? Listen again. It’s the strained but sexy voice of a man who has experienced a lot in his life. But, hey. I don’t mind experience. There are plenty of experiences I’d like to share with him.
He’s an avid guitarist. And a drummer. So he’s great with his hand and can keep a steady beat. Combine those two talents with my nether regions and we’ve got a damn good night on our hands. Alright. Sorry for getting you all hot and bothered…

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Why He’s Hot: Say hello to Mark Ronson everybody. Not...

saint-iker-deactivated20101127- — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 17:18:06 -0500

Why He’s Hot:

Say hello to Mark Ronson everybody. Not only is he smoking hot, he’s talented too. Whether he’s playing the role of badass DJ, jamming with his band or even just riding a bike, the man looks good. Makes you wonder if his talents stretch beyond his music and carry over to the bedroom.
Have you seen him in a suit? Or decked out in make up for Halloween? No matter what he’s wearing, it makes people everywhere want to rip his clothes off with their teeth.
The hair. It can be brown, platinum blonde, in a nice coif or shaggy, you’d still want to run your hands through it while he makes love to you on every surface you can imagine.
As if his face wasn’t perfect enough, he’s got those luscious lips to top it all off. His smirk could cause even the saintliest of people to fall to their knees, and not in prayer. And when he smiles, the heavens open up and angels cry because it’s just that beautiful.
Oh, I forgot to mention one tiny little tidbit of information; he’s English. So that combined with everything else listed above makes for one delicious man.

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Why He’s Hot: So this sexy beast of a man here is William...

gas-light — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 16:22:11 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

So this sexy beast of a man here is William fucking Levy. Oh yeah, let that name run throughout your mouth! Just look at that smile! Those pearly whites make you just want to eat him up!
He’s Cuban which means he definitely has a hot Spanish ACCENT! Anything he says will most likely make you melt. That just makes more amazingly irresistable!
He’s a talented Spanish actor but not only that…he’s also a male model! He is ripped as fuck! It’s as if its been gifted by the Greek Gods! Imagine those strong muscular arms around you…yeah amazing. I would doubt any woman who wouldn’t do a single body shot on him…
Those light shining blonde locks! What i wouldn’t do just to run my fingers through it. His eyes, oh gosh his hazel eyes! Just a light wink would probably make you pass out of sheer joy.
What’s more attractive is the way he’s with his son! Nothing hotter than a man caring for his young child…

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Why He’s Hot: This God right here, ladies, is Aidan...

apologetic-milk — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 16:31:38 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

This God right here, ladies, is Aidan Turner. And that’s Aidan, not Aiden, silly. Here he is laughing, his fucking smile. Unfff.
He is a motherfucking vampire. He even looks ridiculously hot covered in blood and wandering round in his undies (which if I had power over him is all he would ever wear).
Don’t you wish it was your mouth he was covering here? jealous yet?
Get your panties wet with this. This fucker could brighten up anyone’s day, just imagine waking up to this.
And now a quote from him: “I have a pretty gory sex scene with a vampire called Lauren. She’s really hot and we’re covered with blood and we’re having sex in the bathroom. I remember finishing the scene and walking out and someone said it was absolutely disgusting, but I thought it was really sexy!” Wishing you were Lauren yet?

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Why She’s Hot: This is the gorgeously-sexy Kathryn Prescott of...

abregopatricia — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:44:33 -0400

Why She’s Hot:

This is the gorgeously-sexy Kathryn Prescott of Southgate, London. She’s the fraternal twin of Megan Prescott. That’s right, there’s not just one you guys, there’s two.
She has that kind of raspy, deep, seductive voice that will have you at her feet. God, it’s so sexy how her voice comes and goes as she speaks. And oh yeah, she has an english accent! Wanna make her moan? Yeah, I’m right there with you.
No matter what her hair color is, whether it’s brunette, red, or anything else she still looks hot and I bet you would still want to go down on her. Mmhm, right in between those legs. Hey girls, she likes female attention too.
14 body piercings. Enough said.
And just when you thought she couldn’t get any hotter, she played Emily Fitch, a lesbian on Skins. Kat makes the character herself hot, and here’s the proof. Undressing her, kissing her, and making love to her, shit, being Kat’s on-screen-girlfriend must be the greatest fucking job in the world.

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Why He’s Hot: His name is Joe fucking Walker, but I...

jshleyaames — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 17:20:40 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

His name is Joe fucking Walker, but I think sexy bitch is a more appropriate name. Even with those beautiful baby blue eyes shut, you can tell this guy oozes sex appeal. It only takes a smile to virtually melt your panties off, and it’s a sacrifice willingly made. Watching him eat pizza can make any girl hungry (and not for the pizza). You see that pole between his legs? Yeah, that’s actual size. Any girl would be lucky to be shocked by this fine specimen.
He’s an incredible actor who has starred in Youtube shows as Lord Voldemort in A Very Potter Musical, Dolores Umbridge in A Very Potter Sequel, and a dick (yes, that’s right) in Me and My Dick. Somehow, he has managed to make all of his characters extremely and unexpectedly sexy. Dark wizards, women, and dicks have never looked so god damn delicious.
Homeboy can dance his fucking ass off (although we’d hate to lose such a beautiful thing). Just imagine this fine piece of man meat dancing with you on your wedding night before the two of you do the horizontal tango (which I’m sure he’s had plenty practice doing and can choreograph so well it will blow your mind) in the honeymoon suite later that night.
His abs are so hard they can cut right through your bra straps and anything else in the way of him making sweet, sweet love to you. It’s nearly impossible to pay attention when someone is walking around with his arms like these. As if you needed any more convincing, the internet provided us with this beautiful masterpiece.
He’s probably one of the funniest people on the planet. Have you ever read through his twitter? It’s hard to decide if you’d want him to tell you jokes or screw you senseless. The ridiculous faces he make somehow remain equally as delicious as a normal photo. Even dressed in ridiculous and/or hilarious outfits, he still finds a way to stay so cotton picking cute.

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Why He’s Hot: Sharp jawline. Big nose. Dark eyes. This...

blissed — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 18:59:07 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

Sharp jawline. Big nose. Dark eyes. This bad boy right here is Chester Bennington lead singer of Linkin Park and Dead By Sunrise. His name is just made to give you the chills since it’s so unusual and oh so fucking hot.
Sexy beast has it all. Biceps, tattoos, one great ass that makes you wanna cling to him and never let go. Just the mental image of his huge arms wrapped around you is capable of making your legs wobble.
He has stated in the past that he gets a boner every time fans sing along with him during shows. Well, we’re more than happy to know that we can make him feel like that, all hot and bothered. I wonder how he takes care of it later on…
As an I’m-hot-and-I-know-it rocker it is essential that he puts on some of that sexy black eye-liner from time to time just to make fangirls go into drool mode and scream at the top of their lungs.
Being half-Pisces, half-Aries, this man has two sides; the dominant and submissive side. When Pisces is present you may ride the hell out of him, but later on when Aries shows up he will make you get on your fours and beg him to “give it to you” just because he can.

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Why He’s Hot: Hold up. Who is this SMF here? That’s...

theerasedcitizen — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 18:48:47 -0400

Why He’s Hot:

Hold up. Who is this SMF here? That’s right. It’s Gerard Pique in the house, mothafuckers. The sexiest cule ever.
Not only is this boy a Spanish footballer (automatic hotness), he has the most beautiful eyes in this universe. Those eyes can be sweet, playful and downright HOT at the same time.
His relationships with his teammates are not that bad. Actually they’re quite interesting…
Being a footballer, his body has to be in shape. But this man’s body is more than just ‘in shape’. It’s in that shape that makes women’s (and mens…) eyes go wide.
He’s the entertainer. He’s extremely funny and in general has such a sweet personality despite what haters say.

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